Here's a simple fact: when you work in a bar, despite the fact that you have mad hair and your make up is sweated off and you are wearing a hideous apron, you will get alot of guys cracking onto you. There's a lot of reasons for this: Beer goggles, the fact that as a waitress you are meant to be polite to them, or maybe it's just some primal instinct making them think: 1) I am drunk, 2) I am glad to be drunk, 3) the Bringer of Alcohol (ie that blond girl) has contributed to me being drunk, 4) therefore the Bringer of Alcohol is the Woman for Me. Or maybe it's just that they're drunk and will say anything. Anyway, as such, I have accumulated some fairly hilarious pick up lines, which I now share with you, all of which are open for you to use later on, on your very own waitress ("the Bringer of Alcohol"). Please note: None of these are made up. All of these have been tried, with varying degrees of success on me, sometimes by guys who I am not serving.
1) "Your glasses are very pretty."
2) "Agree or disagree: Chocolate Hob Nobs are the best biscuits ever."
3) "My friend here, he's a drug dealer form Brooklyn. He's really cool."
4) "I'm into mixed martial arts. I'm not actually. But I have a huge calculator, which works out tax for me."
5) "You're really sexy. I'm going to watch you work for a while."
6) "So when are we going out for lunch? I'm really nice. No, I am. You won't meet a better guy than me."
7) "So did they train you to get rid of dirty old men?" (Friend) "If they did, you'll need to start using that training now."
And the best for last:
8) "So you're from Australia? How are things Down Under?" Greeted with uproarous laughter.
Anyway, all good ones. None of which worked. I mean, I have standards. There are a load of others which are all fairly standard, but these were the stand outs.
Good night and good luck my friends.
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